OK Parents, Let's Talk About Happiness and Positivity!

I know what many of you are probably saying under your breath or to the screen: "There's only so much of this I can take. We all have a breaking point!" It's true, you might have seen or read news stories lately about how some parents are "hitting bottom" or "reaching new lows" at this stage of the COVID-19 pandemic. We all have a reason, no matter who you are or where you live, to be experiencing this right now.

So, why talk about happiness? Right now?!? Turns out, happiness is not an achievement and isn't totally dependent upon on your situation or current life circumstances. The science of happiness has come a long way in the past few decades, so let's talk about why happiness is so important and how we can teach our kids, and ourselves, ways to cultivate happiness (yes, even now during the pandemic!).

My favorite definition of happiness is "the experience of joy, contentment or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful and worthwhile.” This definition, by Sonja Lyubomirsky, captures both the experience in the moment and a long-term sense of life as a whole. What we're learning is that happiness is not the outcome of a process or success in a task. In fact, many people who study happiness now think that we have it backward, that greater success and achievement in life is a result of happiness instead of the cause.  

So, how can we help ourselves (and teach our kids) to cultivate positive emotions during tough times?  Here are five strategies to try out at home:

1. Create and Maintain Strong Social Connections - Most of us know that friends and family are important to us, but I don't think we know just HOW important they are. Having at least a small handful of close friends, the kind you can call with a flat tire on the interstate or to share really important news and get the support you need, increases our sense of belonging and self-worth. The same goes for kids. Make sure they are maintaining friendships, even when it takes some extra effort on our part as parents. Put energy into your friendships and relationships. Don't take them for granted.
2. Pay it Forward - Being kind to others actually improves our mood as well. Show the children in your life the power of kindness by doing something for a family member, friend, neighbor, or teacher. Have them join in or think of someone they would like to show kindness. It's a sure way to boost your mood today.  
3. Practice Gratitude - No one could fault themselves for focusing on what's not going well in the world right now. But, when we spend so much time looking for the next let-down, we can miss all of the good things still going on in our lives. It's like staring up at the storm clouds when you're walking through a flower garden. The storm is real, but so are the flowers. Find time each day as a family to focus on what you are grateful for today. They can be big (the love of family and friends, accomplishments at work, etc.) or small (I look good in this sweater, or this is one of my favorite meals for dinner).
4. Exercise - The connection between physical and mental health is very well established. Exercise helps to release certain endorphins in the brain which elevate your mood starting shortly after you finish exercising. You don't have to do a 500 calorie intense workout or run 10 miles to get the effect. 30 minutes of moderate exercise, like a brisk walk, jog, family bike ride, or anything else that gets your heart rate elevated, will help. Try this as a family activity and the effect will be even greater! Family yoga or exercise routines are easy to find online for free and work well in winter months if you're not up for a winter stroll.  
5. Tell a Joke - There's a reason why a good comedy show, funny movie or hilarious joke can be just the thing to help when we are feeling down. Believe it or not, the simple act of smiling and laughing communicates to our brain that we should consider being happy right now. If not, why are we laughing? Telling silly jokes, watching a funny family-friendly show or just doing something that makes us smile will help to improve your mood! Thankfully The Dadass Podcast has plenty of dad jokes for you! 

This a guest post authored by Dr. Parker Huston, formerly the director of the Nationwide Children's Hospital On Our Sleeves campaign and now owner of Central Ohio Pediatric Behavioral Health. Check out his recent appearance on The Dadass Podcast.