Last week was one of those weeks. One of those hectic, long, but seemingly gone in a blink of an eye type of weeks. I took a minute to document what my wife and I juggled over a four-day stretch:
This was all incremental to my wife’s standard demanding role as a small business owner and my full workload, which included preparing for and facilitating a day-long, in-person workshop for my team. The above is staggering and makes my head hurt a bit. How did we pull this off? Somehow we limped through, but none of this is to brag. If you’re reading this, you’ve had one of these weeks also. We've all been there. But this reflection was actually therapeutic for me. As working parents, we should take more moments to pat ourselves on the back for all that we do. It’s not always smooth. In fact, this 96 hours certainly came with lost sleep, sore throats and likely more gray hairs. But take stock of the accomplishments periodically. I'm curious how it makes others feel. For me, it made me simultaneously overwhelmed and proud. The added novelty of this week was the light at the end of the tunnel: a much needed weekend away with just my wife in Sedona, Arizona was our reward. This was our second attempt at taking this trip. We postponed it from early November after my daughter was sick the previous week, who then got me sick, and then inevitably, you guessed it, my wife eventually fell ill. I can tell you all about how awesome Sedona is. I can also preach to you about the importance of time with just your spouse, sans kids. This is well documented, and you don’t need to hear this from me. I’m ashamed to admit this was the first time we got away just the two of us in over two years. But clearly all parents are juggling a lot, so it's not always easy to get away. I'm also incredibly thankful for the army of family members that juggled and cared for my kids to make this all possible - especially after getting through an eventful week. In the wise words of The Dadass Matt Lofy himself, stay strong. Do whatever you can to keep your head above water for the kids, but enjoy the important, well-earned, few and far between downtimes with your spouse. -Steve Michalovich, founder, CBUS Dads
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We get to talk to a lot of informed, interesting and inspirational people at CBUS Dads. One topic we didn't know much about is pelvic health - that is until we connected with Molly Bachmann PT, DPT. We gave her the floor to explain to our community the importance of pelvic health for our children, our spouses and lastly, men.
You probably have heard of physical therapy for knee injuries while playing sports or back injuries from sitting too long at work. Did you know there is also pelvic floor physical therapy for urinary, bowel and sexual dysfunction as well as pelvic pain? Let’s start with what the pelvic floor is. The pelvic floor is 3 layers of muscle that sit at the base of the pelvis. Their most important job is to keep our organs in place and keep us upright as they work with other postural muscles. They are unique in that they surround the urethral opening, go up to the base of the penis and clitoris, surround the vaginal opening, and surround the rectum. These muscles are part of what keeps us peeing and pooping regularly and what allow us to experience pleasure with intercourse. Physical therapists undergo advanced post-graduate education in pelvic floor anatomy and physiology to help meet the pelvic health needs of patients. Considering the field of physical therapy as a whole, pelvic floor physical therapy is a more recent, but a quickly emerging field. We can help people recover from symptoms that stem from impairments in the musculoskeletal, nervous, reproductive, urologic, and gastrointestinal systems. Pelvic health symptoms generally fall into a few categories: bladder, bowel, sexual dysfunction, and pelvic pain. The symptoms may develop for many different reasons, including injury, trauma, surgery, medication-induced, pregnancy, stress, menopause, overuse - just to name a few. Pediatric Pelvic Health Many children suffer from bladder/bowel voiding dysfunction. In fact, 20 percent of all pediatric visits are for incontinence problems. The good news is that non-invasive physical therapy techniques are highly effective for these disorders. The umbrella term for difficulty with bladder/bowel control in children is “dysfunctional voiding.” Below is a list of different diagnoses that fall under dysfunctional voiding:
Physical therapy helps with each of these issues through a myriad of ways. After an assessment, the therapist will determine the best approach for each child. Sometimes this may involve direct pelvic floor exercises, others may involve addressing gaps in developmental milestones, modifying toileting behaviors and eating habits, breathing techniques or stretches to reduce pelvic floor muscle tone. Tips to help your kids gain continence and confidence in toileting:
Support for Spouses/Partners Before and After Birth The pelvic floor and pelvic girdle muscles undergo significant changes during pregnancy and labor and delivery. Optimal pelvic health during pregnancy can help reduce musculoskeletal pain and dysfunction, ease labor and delivery, and help reduce postpartum complications. In 2018 the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology issued a statement acknowledging that postpartum care in the United States needs to be improved, suggesting the term “4th Trimester” should be used for the immediate postpartum period and that postpartum women need more care than what is currently being offered. All pregnant and postpartum women can benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy given the crucial role these muscles play during delivery and how prevalent dysfunction is after birth. Pelvic floor physical therapy reduces the risk of pelvic organ prolapse, urinary, bowel, sexual dysfunction, and pelvic pain. Similar to other diagnoses we treat, many of our patients tell us they wish they knew about us sooner. During pregnancy, our bodies undergo significant changes as the pregnancy progresses. Many women experience symptoms that pelvic floor physical therapy can address. Fortunately, some women tolerate pregnancy very well and experience no unwanted symptoms. For these women, pelvic floor physical therapy can help with optimizing pelvic floor motor control to aid in labor and birth and improving pelvic floor and pelvic girdle neuromuscular function to reduce pain and dysfunction in the postpartum period. All new moms should undergo an evaluation with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Ideally, this evaluation would take place in the first year following delivery, however, it is never too late to see a pelvic floor physical therapist. Postpartum pelvic floor physical therapy can help with:
Tips to help your partner/spouse before and after birth:
Men’s Pelvic Health Don’t forget, you have a pelvic floor too! Studies have revealed that due to pelvic floor dysfunction, 10 percent of men will encounter symptoms of pelvic pain. Due to misdiagnosis, many patients are prescribed antibiotics thinking they have prostatitis. Physical therapy that is focused on pelvic floor muscle training is the answer. Some symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction are:
Causes of Pelvic Pain:
Tips for maintaining pelvic health:
To learn more about pelvic health, you can find Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center on Instagram, YouTube and our website. If you think you may need an evaluation, call our office. On Thursday, November 9, we hosted dadX: Mansplaining Men's Health at the legendary Leisure Club. Around 20 men of different ages and stages of life spent a couple hours listening to speakers touch on range of relevant topics that sparked discussion and deep reflection.
If you’re wishing you could have attended, check out the live stream available on The Dadass Podcast Instagram Account, and while you’re there give us a follow. I wanted to share some of what I took away that still resonates with me today: Live your life with intention As parents, partners and leaders we need to be intentional with the time we have with one another. From full focus with those you are present with or when leading a meeting, be intentional and respect that time. As Mike Scherer, Worth the Wait Charity, shared during his story, when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer he had a lot of people say that he had "the easy cancer" since there's a high survival rate. As he put it, "there's no easy cancer - you're still going to have battles and no guarantees." Live life with intention. Give 100 percent Darrell O’Neal, Fatherhood Fraternity, put it best when he said that when with your kids or even your partner, give them 100 percent of you. Much like living with intentionality, if we are fully present and making the person you are with feel like the center of the universe that will help them feel appreciated and help you appreciate the limited time we have. Men are 4x as likely to die by suicide - seek the help you need We had two speakers specifically on mental health, and in some way all our speakers touched on it. We must seek out community or social connections to ensure we don't hold things in and become deeply wounded. If you’ve wanted to do something, just do it When The Dadass Podcast was started, we wanted to create a community for people who wanted to be better parents and partners. Hosting an event like this has been an idea for three years. It’s taken until now to actually take a swing at hosting an event. After hearing the feedback from the men who attended, it’s hard to understand why it took us so long to do something that we’ve wanted to do for so long. I’m just glad we did it, and hopefully we can mansplain other topics sometime soon. -Matt Lofy, The Dadass To some, Veterans Day is just another day or for others it serves as the start of a long weekend.
I served eight years in the United States Coast Guard as a Boatswains Mate. My primary roles were law enforcement, search and rescue and navigation. I am damn proud to be a veteran and to have served this country, but in the company of other veterans I don’t speak up much. I served during the War on Terror, but never went overseas. My biggest accomplishment was volunteering to go down right after Hurricane Katrina for urban search and rescue and recovery ops. When I see Vietnam vets or WWII heroes, I shrink in their presence as I think about what they saw and went up against. Two weeks ago, my little neighbor asked if she could take a photo with me in uniform for her class. She beautifully sang the Coast Guard Marching Song she learned in choir and was going to perform during a Veterans Day concert. Growing up I remember doing interviews with my grandpa who was a sniper in WWII. I grew close with a local legend who served heroically and then proudly served his community as a businessman and longest serving American Legion Commander, until my Dad took that position even longer. Now, I’m “the veteran” I guess. The one that the neighbors come to interview and that’s hard to swallow. I was 17 years old when I signed the documents at my dinner table surrounded by my mom, dad and recruiter. I knew I wanted to follow in my dad’s (brother's, grandpa's and uncle's) footsteps. I loved hearing stories, going to the Cleveland Air Show everywhere or being part of a small team that raised and lowered the American flag every day at school. September 11, 2001 solidified in my heart that upon graduation I would enlist. I had my reasons at 17 years old. It wasn't until this picture was taken, and I saw how tightly my son held on to me that I realized, THIS IS WHY I SERVED. So that one day my son (and soon our daughter) can grow up in an America, that despite its faults, provides freedom of speech and freedom to seek change. An America that in my heart of hearts stands to serve as a beacon of hope for so many around the world. Although, I’ve traded in my boots for dress shoes and gun belt for a backpack full to snacks and wipes, I continue to fight that fight for them, but in a different way. I work as a servant leader serving the pleasure of my community. I’m positioned to help ensure everyone is heard and progress is made. I choose to step foot on the daily battlefield of helping a toddler grow into a man of high character and serve deep in the trenches of temper tantrums just to see him evolve. I didn’t know it that night at my dinner table, but I chose to serve so that my future self could raise a family in a country that allows opportunity in some way or another for all. Where I could raise my children who our family chooses and that is worth fighting for. Happy Veterans Day, and may we never forget that there are always men and women somewhere, home and abroad, away from their family and friends serving valiantly for you, too. -Matt Lofy, The Dadass Men make excuses for not putting their wellbeing at the top of the to-do list. We hold things in and rarely have deep conversations with other men. Honestly, it takes balls for men to connect in meaningful ways with other men when it comes to things impacting our lives. That’s part of the reason we created The Dadass Podcast and how CBUS Dads started.
It's also why on Thursday, November 9 we are hosting dadX: Mansplaining Men’s Health. The event will be from 7-9 p.m., and it's worth noting THIS. IS. A. FREE. EVENT. As you can guess from the name, the name is a subtle nod to hosting a TEDx style event (but don’t tell Ted) with five powerful, short talks from dynamic speakers on a range of relevant topics revolving around men’s health. Thanks too to an epic host location in Leisure Club, this is a casual platform for men to kickstart meaningful conversations. Here’s what ya need to know: First, you don’t have to be a dad. This event is for men of all ages, stages in life and who just want to do something other than grow epic facial hair this November Second, our lineup is stacked. It’s like we had all first-round picks for some sort of fantasy football meets speaker wish list draft. Our speakers include:
Third, we’re hosting this at the legendary Leisure Club, a nostalgically-inspired social membership club, created as an alternative place for folks to relax and unwind. Membership at Leisure Club includes reservation access to the space with BYOB or self-serve options including house coffee and Garage Beer. Fourth, we’re going to try and take this event and turn it into a special Dadass Podcast episode for us to listen to again and again on our journey to be healthier men. We’re going to record the talks. Lastly, did I mention this is free to attend? So cost isn’t a barrier for not engaging in this conversation. -Matt Lofy, The Dadass During the Fourth of July weekend, I took my three kids plus a friend to Hocking Hills for a day trip. We packed water bottles, lunches and snacks and made the trek down US 33. We started our loop at Cedar Falls. A handful of other visitors with expensive-looking cameras were photographing the waterfalls, so we had to navigate this respectively. Mid-summer the flow was definitely lighter, and the pool beneath was fairly shallow, so we waded through the water. The kids were psyched to spot a number of turtles. Next on our journey was Ash Cave, the largest recess cave east of the Mississippi. It sports a horseshoe-shaped rim that is wide open with a runoff waterfall trickling down in the center. We took advantage of this feature by dunking our heads underneath to cool down. While the first two destinations required about a mile hike in and another mile back to the car, our final stop involved a bit more steps. Old Man’s Cave consists of several falls and gorges, connected by hiking trails. After fueling up from our packed lunch, we were ready for a prolonged traverse. The kids agreed this was their favorite, as Old Man’s Cave offers unique features such as trails through tunnels and rock bridges. We posted up at the Lower Falls for a rest and additional wading. Swimming is prohibited at all of our destinations, but I had our crew dress in their bathing suits under their hiking clothes knowing that they will inevitably get wet. I packed their water shoes in my pack, so they could change to proper footwear when the terrain called for it. We were fortunate to be in this area when a rainstorm rolled in. We were able to get back to the Hocking Hills State Park Visitors Center just in time to wait out the heavy precipitation. You can’t bring enough towels on a trip such as this, and the rain exacerbated this notion. I’ve been visiting Hocking Hills my entire life, but I’m hardly an expert on the region. One thing for sure: I’ve found it’s busy no matter the time of year, so expect a crowd whenever you go. My crew didn’t mind, as the excitement was high throughout our adventure. We are already planning a return voyage this fall or winter. We just scraped the surface with our day trip, so I’m curious what other landmarks others recommend for kids?
-Steve Michalovich, Regular Contributor and founder of CBUS Dads Since it's start in 2016, CBUS Dads has intended to be a community of central Ohio area dads balancing an active lifestyle with being an involved parent. We may live downtown, in the suburbs or somewhere between, but our common thread is that we experience the community we love with our families.
We are featuring some of the awesome dads we know to share their stories of parenting. Next up is a good friend to The Dadass Podcast, Parker Huston! What do you do for a living? I own a small pediatric psychology practice serving kids and families in central Ohio. What part of town do you live in? Wonderful Westerville What is your favorite part about being a dad? Watching the kids grow and achieve things. Learning about their interests and abilities and helping them explore new things. What is your favorite activity to do with your kids that’s unique to Columbus? We love to attend Columbus sports together, especially Crew games and Blue Jackets! Where is your favorite place to grab a bite to eat with your family? The kids will pick Thai Grille in Uptown Westerville nine out of ten times. The food is amazing, and we can ride our bikes there if the weather is cooperating! What are you most looking forward to in the future as a dad? Every year I look back and realize how much they have learned and changed. I'm excited to see what they accomplish as young adults and to support them along the way! Sum up your life as a dad and the way you live it in six or less words. Let them try everything! Tell us a dad joke! My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I told her it must be my weekend immune system. Two years ago, Steve and Matt tag teamed sharing their favorite Columbus area breweries that are also family friendly. Given it's been two years, and beer is very synonymous with our platform, we brewed an updated list for summer 2023. Let us know what you think!
From Matt: My wife and I have a three-and-a-half-year-old son and one on the way. So, I’m looking for places that are toddler approved and it’s not frowned upon if he’s a wild man. I’m also looking for a spot to take a future little one, which means comfortable for my wife and easy parking options too. First off, I’d be a bad Dadvocate if I didn’t give a special shout out to Taft’s Brewporium Columbus and Honest Friend Brewing for adding changing stations to your men’s and gender-neutral restrooms in part with our Changing Station Accessibility Grant with Columbus City Council. Edison Brewing Company (Gahanna) continues to be our son’s overall favorite place to go to in Columbus because of the airplanes. I love their traditional European style beers, and my wife loves their signature cocktails, but it’s all about the planes landing at John Glenn. The brewery has a huge outdoor area with an impressive stage. Most notably, it sits directly between both runways, which allows for optimal airplane watching when playing games that they offer. Coffee, beer and proximity to Columbus’ best Metro Park, Highbanks (IMO), make Olentangy River Brewing (Lewis Center) a clear contender. I have survived both morning hikes with dad friends and kids that needed a dose of caffeine afterwards and sizzling summer day hikes that called for a Belgian Aloha. This is a great spot with a lot to do around it. Full disclosure, I am the Executive Director of the Worthington Area Chamber and have to give a nod to one of our businesses. Outside of my bias, there is a great collection of light and full-bodied ales at Zaftig Brewing Co. (Worthington), complimented with great bourbon cocktails and wine. What makes this special for families is the friendly, local bar vibe, well respected 90’s alt rock playlist and a fantastic picnic table set up easy for games, Matchbox car races and easy clean up with spills. Plus, if the little ones are acting out, try the Big Barley Wine. It is the perfect medicine for that. Although Fattey Beer Co. (Westerville) is not a brewery, it holds its own to be on this list. Visit Uptown, head to a public park or Westerville Library across the street or just bring in your own food from the surrounding restaurants. This is in an ideal location (with parking) and the vibe is fun and loud, so kids can be themselves. Our son’s is especially grateful that they offer juice with PJ Masks and Paw Patrol characters as the straw. They offer beers on tap, hundreds by styles in marked fridges, wines, ciders, NAs, and beers to go. From Steve: I basically echo everything Matt listed above. I couldn't agree with his sentiments, and I've had similar experiences at each location. One brewery we have yet to shoutout in this series is Land Grant (Franklinton). We've been taking our kids there for years, and as I shared in March, the winter season, much like every season, offers something unique to do with your family. This time of year though, the patio is bustling. Live music is frequent, and it's a great destination to watch soccer matches. Before you know it, football season will be upon us, so don't rule it out for Buckeye Saturdays. This is slightly off topic, given they are a distillery, but both High Bank locations are tremendous for children, especially the Grandview spot with it's games. I'm a big fan of their whiskey and of theirs in general, as they are friends to the podcast, but their food is unique and as good as anything you can find in central Ohio. I lost my job in mid-March and have been unemployed ever since. I left an employer of nearly four years at the end of 2022 to work for a technology startup at the start of 2023. Long story short, but things went south quickly, and the company was acquired, leaving most of the staff without jobs. My kids, with their childhood rationale, always had a lot of affinity for my former company. It’s not hard to see why from where they sat: huge brand presence, brick and mortar locations all across America and our family’s personal bank. Not to mention, I was generally happy, accomplished and proud to work there during my tenure, and I’m sure they sensed that. Conversely, given the way things turned out with the latter employer, they hate that company. Coincidentally, the company name is also a five-letter word that starts with C and is also a man’s name. We’ve explained the circumstances of my layoff, and they are quick to in turn explain the situation to friends and family when the conversation arises. This conversation always concludes with them adding, “C**** sucks.” We usually don’t condone this kind of language, but we’ve been letting it pass given the hardship. While unemployment is not ideal, I did go into it with the mindset that in addition to job seeking, I’ll be as involved as I can with my kids during this time. This spring saw a lot of activities return to the elementary school that otherwise wouldn’t have happened the last couple years due to the pandemic. I volunteered as much as possible and was present at the school to help and support however I could. It’s been rewarding, fun and unique, and I’m thankful for the opportunity. I think my kids have been thankful to have me around too. I even relived my youth and participated in the end-of-year neighborhood shaving cream fight! I’m sure most kids have an interest in what their parents do for a living. The lens they see it through is where it likely gets comical. When my oldest daughter filled out a Father’s Day form in preschool years ago, she described my job as “keeping the kids safe.” Since that time, this phrase has stuck within our family. Any time I request they do something they don’t understand is for their own good, or if they ask me for my advice, this mantra will typically come up. Examples include:
I frequently validate my answers with a simple “what’s my job?” to which their reflex reaction is a “to keep the kids safe.” The last few months though, the joke they tell me when I ask this has been that I don’t have a job now. This has been stated out of love, as my children have become increasingly interested in the overall process of finding a new job, e.g., interviewing, offers, etc. While we certainly haven’t explained to them the financial implications of my unemployment, they’ve been invested and supportive to the extent they can understand. Careers are important, and I’ve always taken mine seriously. Losing a job is a tragedy that I don’t wish on anyone. These last three months have been really hard but also unique and positive in some ways. We as parents are our kids’ grandest advocates. Dads are the ultimate hype men. But it’s my kids who are my biggest, most unexpected cheerleaders right now, pulling for me to navigate out of this unfortunate situation. -Steve Michalovich, regular contributor, founded CBUS Dads in 2016 while on paternity leave with his middle child. He is an active parent and digital product manager by day. Since it's start in 2016, CBUS Dads has intended to be a community of central Ohio area dads balancing an active lifestyle with being an involved parent. We may live downtown, in the suburbs or somewhere between, but our common thread is that we experience the community we love with our families.
We are going to start featuring some of the awesome dads we know to share their stories of parenting. There was no one more perfect to start with than The Dadass himself, Matt Lofy. By day, he is the executive director of the Worthington Area Chamber. Any other time if he's not parenting, he's focused on The Dadass Podcast. You can learn a little bit more about Matt below: What part of town do you live in? Westerville What is your favorite part about being a dad? I love being able to come home and feel like the most important person in the world when our son runs up and hugs me as if he hasn't seen me in a decade. What is your favorite activity to do with your kids that’s unique to Columbus? I love to go hiking in along many of Columbus' many Metro Park trails. Where is your favorite place to grab a bite to eat with your family? BrewDog New Albany - our son loves the huge pretzel. What are you most looking forward to in the future as a dad? I'm looking forward to each new phase of his life to see him learn and grow into his own. Sum up your life as a dad and the way you live it in six or less words. Who truly runs this shit show? Tell us a dad joke! What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. |
AboutCBUS Dads is a community of central Ohio area dads balancing an active lifestyle with being an involved parent. A Saturday for us may involve enjoying morning t-ball, lunch at a new local spot and an evening at a summer festival with our families. We may live downtown, in the suburbs or somewhere between, but our common thread is that we continue to experience the community we love - now as parents. Archives
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