On Thursday, November 9, we hosted dadX: Mansplaining Men's Health at the legendary Leisure Club. Around 20 men of different ages and stages of life spent a couple hours listening to speakers touch on range of relevant topics that sparked discussion and deep reflection.
If you’re wishing you could have attended, check out the live stream available on The Dadass Podcast Instagram Account, and while you’re there give us a follow. I wanted to share some of what I took away that still resonates with me today:
Live your life with intention
As parents, partners and leaders we need to be intentional with the time we have with one another. From full focus with those you are present with or when leading a meeting, be intentional and respect that time.
As Mike Scherer, Worth the Wait Charity, shared during his story, when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer he had a lot of people say that he had "the easy cancer" since there's a high survival rate. As he put it, "there's no easy cancer - you're still going to have battles and no guarantees." Live life with intention.
Give 100 percent
Darrell O’Neal, Fatherhood Fraternity, put it best when he said that when with your kids or even your partner, give them 100 percent of you. Much like living with intentionality, if we are fully present and making the person you are with feel like the center of the universe that will help them feel appreciated and help you appreciate the limited time we have.
Men are 4x as likely to die by suicide - seek the help you need
We had two speakers specifically on mental health, and in some way all our speakers touched on it. We must seek out community or social connections to ensure we don't hold things in and become deeply wounded.
If you’ve wanted to do something, just do it
When The Dadass Podcast was started, we wanted to create a community for people who wanted to be better parents and partners. Hosting an event like this has been an idea for three years. It’s taken until now to actually take a swing at hosting an event. After hearing the feedback from the men who attended, it’s hard to understand why it took us so long to do something that we’ve wanted to do for so long. I’m just glad we did it, and hopefully we can mansplain other topics sometime soon.
-Matt Lofy, The Dadass
To some, Veterans Day is just another day or for others it serves as the start of a long weekend.
I served eight years in the United States Coast Guard as a Boatswains Mate. My primary roles were law enforcement, search and rescue and navigation. I am damn proud to be a veteran and to have served this country, but in the company of other veterans I don’t speak up much. I served during the War on Terror, but never went overseas. My biggest accomplishment was volunteering to go down right after Hurricane Katrina for urban search and rescue and recovery ops. When I see Vietnam vets or WWII heroes, I shrink in their presence as I think about what they saw and went up against.
Two weeks ago, my little neighbor asked if she could take a photo with me in uniform for her class. She beautifully sang the Coast Guard Marching Song she learned in choir and was going to perform during a Veterans Day concert.
Growing up I remember doing interviews with my grandpa who was a sniper in WWII. I grew close with a local legend who served heroically and then proudly served his community as a businessman and longest serving American Legion Commander, until my Dad took that position even longer. Now, I’m “the veteran” I guess. The one that the neighbors come to interview and that’s hard to swallow.
I was 17 years old when I signed the documents at my dinner table surrounded by my mom, dad and recruiter. I knew I wanted to follow in my dad’s (brother's, grandpa's and uncle's) footsteps. I loved hearing stories, going to the Cleveland Air Show everywhere or being part of a small team that raised and lowered the American flag every day at school. September 11, 2001 solidified in my heart that upon graduation I would enlist. I had my reasons at 17 years old.
It wasn't until this picture was taken, and I saw how tightly my son held on to me that I realized, THIS IS WHY I SERVED.
So that one day my son (and soon our daughter) can grow up in an America, that despite its faults, provides freedom of speech and freedom to seek change. An America that in my heart of hearts stands to serve as a beacon of hope for so many around the world.
Although, I’ve traded in my boots for dress shoes and gun belt for a backpack full to snacks and wipes, I continue to fight that fight for them, but in a different way. I work as a servant leader serving the pleasure of my community. I’m positioned to help ensure everyone is heard and progress is made. I choose to step foot on the daily battlefield of helping a toddler grow into a man of high character and serve deep in the trenches of temper tantrums just to see him evolve.
I didn’t know it that night at my dinner table, but I chose to serve so that my future self could raise a family in a country that allows opportunity in some way or another for all. Where I could raise my children who our family chooses and that is worth fighting for.
Happy Veterans Day, and may we never forget that there are always men and women somewhere, home and abroad, away from their family and friends serving valiantly for you, too.
-Matt Lofy, The Dadass
Men make excuses for not putting their wellbeing at the top of the to-do list. We hold things in and rarely have deep conversations with other men. Honestly, it takes balls for men to connect in meaningful ways with other men when it comes to things impacting our lives. That’s part of the reason we created The Dadass Podcast and how CBUS Dads started.
It's also why on Thursday, November 9 we are hosting dadX: Mansplaining Men’s Health. The event will be from 7-9 p.m., and it's worth noting THIS. IS. A. FREE. EVENT.
As you can guess from the name, the name is a subtle nod to hosting a TEDx style event (but don’t tell Ted) with five powerful, short talks from dynamic speakers on a range of relevant topics revolving around men’s health. Thanks too to an epic host location in Leisure Club, this is a casual platform for men to kickstart meaningful conversations.
Here’s what ya need to know:
First, you don’t have to be a dad. This event is for men of all ages, stages in life and who just want to do something other than grow epic facial hair this November
Second, our lineup is stacked. It’s like we had all first-round picks for some sort of fantasy football meets speaker wish list draft. Our speakers include:
Third, we’re hosting this at the legendary Leisure Club, a nostalgically-inspired social membership club, created as an alternative place for folks to relax and unwind. Membership at Leisure Club includes reservation access to the space with BYOB or self-serve options including house coffee and Garage Beer.
Fourth, we’re going to try and take this event and turn it into a special Dadass Podcast episode for us to listen to again and again on our journey to be healthier men. We’re going to record the talks.
Lastly, did I mention this is free to attend? So cost isn’t a barrier for not engaging in this conversation.
-Matt Lofy, The Dadass
CBUS Dads is a community of central Ohio area dads balancing an active lifestyle with being an involved parent. A Saturday for us may involve enjoying morning t-ball, lunch at a new local spot and an evening at a summer festival with our families. We may live downtown, in the suburbs or somewhere between, but our common thread is that we continue to experience the community we love - now as parents.