The Ongoing Balancing Act of Youth Sports

I love sports. My nine-year-old son loves sports. 

Because of our shared interest, my wife and I have obliged in allowing him to try many sports in his young athletic career:

• We tested into hockey via the Blue Jackets’ Learn to Play program (highly recommend)
• He gave a season of volleyball a try
• He played a season of lacrosse, which he loves, but unfortunately conflicts with baseball season
• To appease his former wrestler dad, he’s wrestled in some open mats hosted by the local high school varsity team
• He’s played flag football recreationally every fall for the last five years
• He’s participated in golf camps and has become one of my favorite partners to hit the course with
• This past year, he’s stepped up his commitments by joining both travel baseball and club soccer teams

He’s been playing basketball recreationally for the last five years too, but something odd happened when we took him to a tryout for the local high school’s third grade feeder team this fall. After only shooting around for five minutes, he walked back to the bleachers to ask if we could leave. He was visibly disinterested and didn’t want to be there.

This was a bit of a pivotal parenting moment for me. Do I force him back on the court instead of letting him quit before he even tried? Or do I lead with empathy and try to better understand where he’s coming from?

After a few minutes of discussion, I opted for the latter. He seemed immediately relieved. Something like this has never really happened before. He likes basketball. He never shies away from competition. A few of his buddies were also there trying out. So what was the problem?

I’ve reflected on this moment, and I think my nine-year-old son was burned out. He was wrapping up an intense fall. Soccer had been demanding, as he’s playing up two age levels. Baseball, his favorite sport, is taking a new shape for him after nine previous seasons. Not to mention, the increased workload of third grade.

Greg Olsen joined a growing vocal group who bemoaned the current state of youth sports. A former professional football player stresses how important it is for him to encourage his kids to play and challenge themselves in multiple sports.

I just finished a book titled Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, and in it Ian Yates, a British sports scientist and coach who has developed professional athletes in a variety of sports was quoted: "Parents increasingly want their kids doing what Olympians were doing right now, not what they were going when they were 12 or 13 which included a wider variety of activities that developed their general athleticism and allowed them to probe their talents and interests before they focused narrowly on technical skills."

This winter, he ran back another season in the very familiar recreational basketball league he’s played in for the last four winters. He played with nine of his closest friends who also opted out of trying out for the feeder team. I’m happy to report they just wrapped up an undefeated season. For me as an assistant coach, this season was a blast - and he couldn’t have been happier. 

And now it’s a rapid pivot onto his first spring in travel baseball. A new frontier for us and him. We will continue to support him and his athletic interests while also striving to strike a balance between pursuing growth as a young athlete while still chasing fun and a general love for sports.

-By Steve Michalovich, founder, CBUS Dads