Ten Memories from Ten Years of Parenting

This week I celebrate ten years of being a parent. My life has changed substantially in the last decade. My perspective, priorities and time spent are all dramatically different.

Fatherhood is a helluva ride. There’s ups and downs. No one has completely mastered the role, which is reassuring. I’ve learned a lot, still strive to grow and continue to try to do my best. 

I’ve been reflecting on my parenting memories that I share with pride, love and a few battle scars:
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My oldest daughter being born - the day everything changed. Ever since I laid eyes on my first born, panicking as her legs wobbled uncontrollably, crying nonstop, I knew I would do whatever I could to protect my kids and keep them safe, healthy and happy. 

Coaching youth sports - I would never label myself a coach, but I love sports. In nearly eight years, my son has tried almost all of them - and I’ve frequently been on the coaching staff. Being involved with him and his teammates has been a worthwhile experience, even when it has meant drafting practice plans or braving inclement weather. It’s been especially rewarding to have a front row seat watching him go from a passive participant to the switch flipping him into a driven, focused, dedicated athlete.

Being a dance dad - unlike my son and team sports, my daughters are dancers. I didn’t know much about dancing until we signed up my oldest for a class when she was 18-months old. Today, it’s a year-long activity that includes practices several nights a week, weekend competitions and a community I’m thankful for being part of. For me, the payoff is watching them perform on stage, giving their all and having the time of their lives doing so.

Running with my daughter - I’ve been running regularly for the last 15 years. A couple years ago, we signed up as a family for the Kids in Capes 5k. An unbelievably worthy cause, the race has both a 5k and a mile-long “fun run” for families and young children. I was set to run the former, with my family taking on the latter, until my daughter determined she was up for the longer trek right before the start. With no training, she tackled the run, and we’ve since ran several races together. I appreciate her grit and determination but mostly the bonding we’ve shared.

Last day of preschool - my oldest’s last day of preschool involved a big party at the school, with parents invited to attend. As it was wrapping up, she at five-years old, acknowledged this was the end of a phase in her life. Her day-to-day was changing, and she’d never be in a class with that group of kids again. Swept up in the emotion, she sought me out amidst the chaos and clutched me. It was the first time one of my kids truly understood the gravitas of a moment, which I was thrilled to be the support she needed.

Our adventures - we proudly boast a family value of experiences over possessions. Sometimes it would be more accurate to label these experiences as adventures. Our most noteworthy to date was traveling halfway across the globe to Hawaii. We packed an obscene amount of luggage, and time changes aren’t exactly kind to toddlers. But like any trip or quick adventure, we survived with memories that will last forever.

First camping trip - I grew up camping and still love it. I started my oldest with no risk backyard camping. Actual trips began soon after, with my son starting to join. With three kids, I’ve found the youngest is very adaptable and just wants to be part of whatever the older ones are doing. We thrust her into her first trip shortly after her fourth birthday, significantly younger than when the older two started, and she was an absolute champ. Having a hobby you can break your kids into early and share with them that they actually look forward to is absolutely priceless.

Dude day - there’s something very gratifying giving my son glimpses into what an outstanding Sunday looks like for me, a grown man. Last fall, my wife and the girls were away. With no hard planning, we ended up at the gym, because he wanted to complete a workout together. Post workout, I introduced him to the locker room and imparted a few etiquettes. On a whim, we followed that up biking to a neighborhood bar to meet a few friends to watch football. Our beloved Cleveland Browns came back to beat rival Baltimore, and we both rode home in a euphoric high from the day’s activities. A simple day yet filled with lasting impressions.

Teaching first grade - not all memories are rosy. Parenting is hard. It’s even harder when you have to teach first grade while juggling your day job. During the pandemic, virtual school was the model for half the year. One especially painful stretch consisted of my daughter going 56 days without stepping foot in her building, leaving us to try to fill her day and teach her school lessons. Remembering the stress and failures still haunts me, but my appreciation for our educators is endless.

Focus on their needs - we’ve all had to drop everything for unplanned trips to pediatricians. Our babies had countless ear infections that led to four ear surgeries. We’ve navigated anxiety and dyslexia diagnoses the best we can without a true playbook. I know others have had even more serious issues to navigate. Did I mention parenting is hard? But it is so rewarding.

-Steve Michalovich, founder, CBUS Dads